Trying to Fullfill a Goal and Make it Stick

So it's been 9 and a half months since I have given birth to Sarah and I have lost the pregnancy weight, but now I am trying to work on a new goal mainly for myself and hope to actually stick with it. I hate coming up with a goal doing well and then usually half way I will stop what I was doing or give up. So I am going to try and break that cycle even if it kills me!!

Also I have talked with my husband and have asked him to help and support me with this goal of mine. So hear is my goal and you can laugh at it if you want, but I want to try and lose 40lbs within the next four months. So that means I will be hitting the Gym 4-5 times a week doing Cardio and Strength training, cut my calories to 1600 and cut out salt.

I really need to improve my upper body strength since I am weak in that area and didn't realize it until I went rock climbing with a friend and only got 3 feet off the ground. Lol. I also want to tone my triceps since they are a lil droppy, tone and firm my tummy since I have a pooch as I like to call it, firm my booty and thighs and just be overall healthy.

Also, I would like to try and wear a bikini if not by this Summer, but by next Summer since it's been a long time since I have worn one. I think the last time I wore a bikini was back in 5th grade and then I got insecure with how my body looked and would only wear a one piece. I also started to eat more which to this day I have kicked myself for going down that dark path.

I will be the first to say that I have done the yo-yo dieting and have lost and gained weight, but this time I plan on keeping the weight off and look healthy, but not like the Hollywood scary skinny. My doctor said that a healthy weight for me would be between 120-130lbs so my goal is to try and get down to 130lbs. I know I will be able to do it with the constant support from my husband, family and friends.

I know I am not fat and and not morbidly obease, but I could stand to lose some more weight since I am in the overweight category though I do not look like it mainly because I am mostly all boobs and booty. Lol. I also know that this will not be an easy road for me and that I will have to change the way I eat and not be too much of a couch potatoe. So wish me luck and I will keep everyone up to date with my progress.

Here's to hoping that I can attain my goal and not give up!

So Proud of My Husband!

I thank God every day for blessing me with such a wonderful and amazing husband and father. Yesterday he got automatically promoted to SGT. and he couldn't be happier. I am so proud of him. He works very hard and is awesome at what he does. I'm always in amazement by him and how he always perseveres even when the tasks are hard.
He always puts his heart and soul into whatever he is doing and rarely complains. I really don't know what I would do without him. He is my rock and is always good to me. I don't think I could have found a better man than him. I'm always telling him how much I love him and how proud of him I am. I really can't wait for him to come home Friday and hopefully on Monday, I will get to pin him at his pinning ceremony.
He really deserves it and I am glad that his fellow soldiers saw all the hard work he has done and have aknowledged him. I love my SGT. with all of my heart and couldn't be more prouder of him!

Where does the time go?

Sarah is 9 months soon to be 10 months. I can't believe that she will be a year old in less than 3 months! She has changed so much from when she was a newborn. She can say momma, dada, nana, wave hi and bye, clap hands, turn a flash light on and off, crawl and standing on her own. Doctors say that she is really smart and is two months ahead development wise compared to other babies her age.

She might try taking her first step next month and possibly even start to walk! She is always deep in thought and thinking whenever she gets something new in her hands as if she is trying to figure out the correct process to making things work. I am always in amazement by the things she does. I know I will have my hands full once she starts to walk and do more things.

I love her so much! She'll always be my Sarah bear until the end of time. We had a lot of fun In Cali and Ga, but we are glad to be back home. Only 3 more days until Ryan comes home from Garmisch and I can't wait to be in his arms again. Hopefully by the end of this month, we will see where we will be stationed stateside.

Giving Her the Cold Shoulder

It really makes me angry and hurt when I have one of my friends tell me how excited she is to see me and my daughter and can't wait for us to hang out and go to the mall and do other things, an then once I arrive, she turns around and act completely different and standoffish.
I mean I have been back in Cali for almost a month with my daughter so my family and friends can see me and Sarah. Mostly to have family finally meet Sarah in person since I gave birth to her in Germany. Sarah, my husband and I wont be back in the states until sometime in November.
My one friend who has been living with my family for six months and still has yet to pay my family any rent money, but will be getting evicted on April 3rd, told me she was really excited about me coming back to Cali and that she couldn't wait for us to hang out and do things together.
I haven't done anything with her since arriving here 3 weeks ago!! The whole time I have been here, she has been standoffish to me and will only talk to me when it has something to do with her and whatever drama comes her way. I've asked her a few times if she wanted to go with me somewhere like the store or mall and every time she says no or doesn't want to be tempted to buy something when she has no money to spend.
Aside from her going to class every Monday to Thursday unless my mom can't give her a ride to the buss stop, she gets in her pj's which she will wear for a week straight and get on the computer for the rest of the day and evening talking to her Wheel of Time Guild! I would have been staying in my room with my daughter while I am here, but she has too much junk in my room that it's ridiculous! So I sleep on an air mattress in the living room. Her junk is piled all along my bedroom walls and stop just short right under my window sills!
She has made no attempt to ask me if I want to do something with her at all and hardly talks to me. So I am fed up with her and have basically been giving her the cold shoulder and I do mean cold. I basically live like she doesn't exist in my parents home and I wont let her do anything with my daughter because she is an irresponsible person and dimwit when it comes to common sense. She went into the kitchen where my mom was one night (I was taking a shower) and placed Sarah on the dirty kitchen floor that has yet to be cleaned and is where the dogs pee and poop! On another day, right after I changed her, I asked my friend, Nancy to watch Sarah for me while I went into the garage to dispose of the dirty diaper and when I came back I found my daughter crawling on pee pee pads while Nancy was on her laptop talking to her guild friends!!
Her answer to me was "oh I'm sorry. She was right in front of me a few seconds ago." Another day I was going to feed my daughter, but i had to use the restroom and Nancy heard me tell my daughter that I would feed her when I got out. I come out of the restroom and there she is feeding Sarah! So whenever she tries to play with Sarah or try to hold her, I will stop her and grab Sarah away from her. I also wont let my daughter play with Nancy's kids old toys because they are not clean.
She'll blow raspberries at Sarah and will get spit on her face which makes me mad because she hardly brushes her teeth, will shower every 3-4 days, doesn't put deodorant on, doesn't shave, doesn't bleach her mustache which is very visible or pluck her chin hairs which are also very visable yet thinks she is the most beautiful woman on earth. NOT!!!!
She's slowly starting to realize that I am ignoring and not acknowledging her because last night she would walk out into the livingroom into the kitchen and would look at me as she walked by. She would also purposly stand close to me to see if I would look and even took my dog that I left wth my parents because he's old into my room to see if I would go in there so she could talk to me but I didn't and she put my dog back in the living room.
Now normally I am not one to be cold hearted, but I am sick and tired of dealing with her crap and how everything has to be about her and the drama she brings. I'm mad that she hasn't paid my famly the rent money espesially how she says that we are like her second family and then pulls that crap on my parents. She also lied to my face about a conversation with my dad and when I asked my dad, he said that it never happened. Of course I am going to believe my father over her. I'm tired of her using the feel sorry card so people will give her what she wants.
She's a 34 year old who doesn't have a stable life, doesn't have custody of her three kids, can' figure out what she wants to do with life, yet wants to have all of these designer celebrity things. She also goes through men like dollar bills and has had 2 failed marriages. She married a 21 year old who wants out of the marriage and she's seeing a 23 year old marine who has it in his head that she is the most beautiful thing on earth and wants her to marry him in about 6 years though they have yet to meet in person! He'll dump her as soon as he sees the really bad eper that she has and how she always has to blame others and how nothing is ever her fault.
Plus she wont wait that long for him since she gets bored with guys real easy or when they get low on money. So I'm not sorry for sounding like a cold hearted person because I am at my limit with her and am just waiting for her to make that one big mistake with me so that I have a good reason to let my claws come out.
I can be very nasty when I have to be and can really hit below the belt wth someone that it would make any military man blush and head for the hills.

Been Awhile and the Perfect Dress

Been a while since I have last written on here. So much has been going on and all of them good! I'm in Cali visiting family with my daughter and am having fun before heading back to Germany. I am so proud of my husban and all that he does not only for our country, but for him just being such a wonderful husband and father.

Yeah we have hit rough patches here and there, but who doesn't. We will have been married for 3 years come June and Sarah will be turning a year old that same month. We will be coming bck to the states soon which both of us are happy about. Life is going great right now for us. I just got done reading my friends blogs and to be honnest, one of the sayings that she used is so true. There have been times where I have felt like walls were closing in on me and then realize that I don't have it that bad compared to other people who have things worse going for them.

I think a lot of us forget to stop and think about things like that. There will always be someone worse off than you and someone worse off than them like an unending cycle. I mean you can't have the yin without the yang which I find to be true for many things.

Today was a great day for me because I found the perfect ball gown for the Army Ball this June! It fit me perfectly and I told the sales people to be brutally honnest with me since I hate having people say one thing when they are actually thinking another. They said that it was like the dress was made for me and that it goes perfectly with my husbands class A's. A few of my friends will see the dress after I have two alterations done to it on Friday. Mostly I am a hard person to make up my mind on what dress I want, but as soon as I saw it and tried it on, I knew it was the one.

Like the dress picked me out as corny as that sounds. LOL. Good thing is that I can wear the dress without a bra and the girls stay put. That was a big issue for me since I have the mother of all boobs when it comes to size. Lets just say that they are bigger than a triple D and are all natural.

My husband might have a heart attack becase the dress was close to $400 dollars, but it was so worth it and I do plan on wearing it more than once. So we will see how things go!